Dairy-free Foodie Gifts

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Two vegans, please."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'How now, brown cow?'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

The Eighth Day of Christmas

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Then I rapidly add cream and butter to the sauce. Ah, get rich quick!

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Cow accidently treading on her own udder.

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

'How old is the Stilton?' 'It used to be Cheddar.'

"Do require a certain twist, Cousin!"

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

I lactate, therefore I am.

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'Now this will be my 'watch you do the milking' stool.'

"Partnering gave us more options for our cheese products..."

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

Vegan Menu

'Is it true you have the best milkshakes in town?' (Cow on a pogo stick).

"Ok everyone. . . say, organic, soy-based tofu, dairy substitute."

Empty milk bottle says to cow: 'You know what I want buddy, hand it over!'