Dairy-free Lifestyle Gifts

'I better stay clear of that place -- I'm lactose intolerant!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

The Nihilist Deli.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

Cow accidently treading on her own udder.

I lactate, therefore I am.

'How old is the Stilton?' 'It used to be Cheddar.'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

'Is it true you have the best milkshakes in town?' (Cow on a pogo stick).

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

Empty milk bottle says to cow: 'You know what I want buddy, hand it over!'

'My secret for long life? I've always drunk, smoked, made out with women...and hated yogurt.'

New Milks

'Mom, does half 'n' half come from cows that can't make up their minds?'

Leif has a lot of trouble with his ticklish cow...

'Shirley never had problems with spiders but cows just cracked her up.

Lactose Intolerant Goldilocks

"I'd recognize a fake anywhere."

"Don't look left or right!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

"Mom, how do you milk an almond?"

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

'The good news is that you don't have mad cows disease. The bad news is that you're lactose intolerant.'