Dairy-free Adventurers Gifts

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

The Nihilist Deli.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'There's nothing in gay non smoking... but I can give you an aisle seat in vegetarian bikers.'

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

'My secret for long life? I've always drunk, smoked, made out with women...and hated yogurt.'

"I'll have the vegan."

"I've gone vegan."

'I'd track the cow's production on Excel if I could turn on the computer.'

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

Peanut Margarine

"I feed the cat nothing but veggies."

Lactose Intolerant Goldilocks

When Vegans Eat Out. . .

Actually, a lot of my friends have switched to soy.

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

'The good news is that you don't have mad cows disease. The bad news is that you're lactose intolerant.'

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

'Okay. Now you're just messing with me.'

"This increase in lactose-intolerant people is good for us: We can sell more milk..."

"Me veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

Since winning Lotto, I stay only in five-star hotels: No need for a shell anymore...

'The polar bear cheese is good, but I prefer the walrus.'

"I am sorry about this, my husband is lactose intolerant."