Dairy Adventurer Gifts

'The polar bear cheese is good, but I prefer the walrus.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

The Main Types of Cheese

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'New Barbeque.'

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

'How now, brown cow?'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

The Eighth Day of Christmas

Dog fetches dice

'Is this the new product?' - 'Yes, a rocket filled with cornflakes.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Then I rapidly add cream and butter to the sauce. Ah, get rich quick!

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Christmas Cow.

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

'Jam roly-poly, treacle tart, ice cream... We're in luck, it's a dessert island.'

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

Cow accidently treading on her own udder.

Man in desert sees a sign for a bank 'Saving for a rainy day!'