Dairy Adventurer Gifts

'The polar bear cheese is good, but I prefer the walrus.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

The Main Types of Cheese

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

International House of Excrement

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'New Barbeque.'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

The Eighth Day of Christmas

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Dog fetches dice

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

Christmas Cow.

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

'Jam roly-poly, treacle tart, ice cream... We're in luck, it's a dessert island.'

Cow accidently treading on her own udder.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

I lactate, therefore I am.