Curriculum Commentator Gifts

"Should I refer to it as 'Common Core'?"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

Conservative Curriculum

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

'In our advanced technology course, we teach you how to use the latest in consumer products no matter how fast they come out.'

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."

"Are you concerned about the increase in artificial intelligence?"

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

Violence in schools has increased

"Call me when you get some current stuff."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"Why wasn't the Tulsa Black Wall Street Massacre in the U.S. history books?"

Teacher Shortage/Brain Shortage

'Here's my report Dad. I got an A, an S, a B and an O.'

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

'Those poor grades are due to a lack of data driven evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

'Okay kids, this is the new timetable.'

"Well, of course all of my jokes are going to punch down."