Curriculum Critics Gifts

Good Luck Cards: Teaching Common Core.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

Uni. Snowflake Library

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"Should I refer to it as 'Common Core'?"

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Cutting Room Floor

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"