Curriculum Critic Gifts

"I can't teach them anymore."

"My goal is to major in something that won't become obsolete in four years."

'Sorry son. You're not special. You've just got crap teachers.'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'Those poor grades are due to a lack of data driven evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

'We need to change the title to appease middle class parents, but essentially this is the national curriculum.' (Dead easy stuff for thick kids).

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"Hold on, Mrs. Martin, you know that book is not on the approve curriculum!!"

'I attended a lecture on Common Core educational standards. Most of the audience fell asleep...'

Teacher Shortage/Brain Shortage

"Call me when you get some current stuff."

Quality of education

"I appreciate you helping me with my homework, but you need to dumb it down a bit so it conforms to the national curriculum."

"I wish they'd educate us with something besides school."

"Look at this textbook, and tell me textbooks haven't been dumbed down."

"When asked what they would do now that NCLB is no longer, 95% of teachers said, with a sigh of relief....teach. The other 5% were too busy correcting papers to answer the survey."

"Listened to the grown ups argue about common core at the beach...at the campground...the fair...the waterpark...the family reunion...."

"I wish I was born 100 years ago - there would have been less history to learn..."

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

The New SAT.

Another School Year Is Underway...

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

'Texas Messes with School History Books'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"We can't BOTH be in this apple. You know I hate Common Core."

'Dean, we've been looking over your plans and curriculum...'

'Okay kids, this is the new timetable.'

'Call me when you get some current stuff.'

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

'What a day! A million things on my mind, and not one of them turned up on the test.'

'I took GCSE English, so how am I supposed to know what that means?'