Curriculum Advisor Gifts

'In our advanced technology course, we teach you how to use the latest in consumer products no matter how fast they come out.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Continuing education.

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Saving for College.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

"Have you considered vlogging?"

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"I love college."

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'