Curriculum Developer Gifts

"Are you concerned about the increase in artificial intelligence?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Conservative Curriculum

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"Why wasn't the Tulsa Black Wall Street Massacre in the U.S. history books?"

'Home Schooling'

Common Core Family Therapy

"We thought this was more realistic."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

"When the report said that coaches should have some psychological training I think they meant more than having watched all 11 series of Frasier."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

"Should I refer to it as 'Common Core'?"

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

'In our advanced technology course, we teach you how to use the latest in consumer products no matter how fast they come out.'

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

School with math class, black math and gay math.