Career Developer Gifts

"When the report said that coaches should have some psychological training I think they meant more than having watched all 11 series of Frasier."

"So 'two arms and two legs', do you have anything else to recommend you?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Staff support"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

International Women's Day.

Reach for the Star.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Pipe Dream.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"