Curriculum Design Gifts

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

Eureka!

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'Home Schooling'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"No thanks, we're going to create some alternative options over here. Want to join?"

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

Decorating a column.

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

Conservative Curriculum

Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.

"Are you concerned about the increase in artificial intelligence?"

'Well if you're so clever why didn't you invent the handbrake!'