Classroom Designer Gifts

'To maximize classroom instruction, the feng shui consultant advises one student desk per classroom.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

What can I play?

Rocking Horse

Welcome to your new English Class.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

Global Education

'Nice bling!'

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Thoughts on Education.

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

Beginning of the school year

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"I guess we're becoming quite popular. I heard everything is going mobile."

Cot.

'Another advantage is the humming and whirring, which is so much more plasant than chalk screeching on a blackboard.'

School boy

"Would you like me to show you how to use powerpoint?"

'My teacher doesn't give numerical or letter grades. She gives emoticons.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress... Should last for years...'