Educational Advisor Gifts

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

"But math class is a barrier to my academic advancement."

Ethics exam cheater.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Culture Saturday

Continuing education.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

U of Debt

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

Saving for College.

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'A thousand word report? How many words is that in text message?'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

Books Providing Bright Idea

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"