Educational Aide Gifts

'I'll tell you how it ends. . . Jane sees Spot run!'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Culture Saturday

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'What does it say, Dad?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'A thousand word report? How many words is that in text message?'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

Books Providing Bright Idea

'When did you last meet your targets?'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

New dunce caps

A Brain Drain

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'