Educational Aide Gifts

'I'll tell you how it ends. . . Jane sees Spot run!'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Culture Saturday

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'A thousand word report? How many words is that in text message?'

'When did you last meet your targets?'

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

Books Providing Bright Idea

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

A Brain Drain

New dunce caps

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."