Education Administrator Gifts

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

Welcome back students.

'...'your gifted' son - could you remind me what those gifts were?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"Chris! You've just re-written the same paper you handed in yesterday!" "Well, you said to do it over again."

"A culture of collaboration does not mean you can copy somebody else's answers."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

Lincoln Standardized Test Center. Formerly Lincoln High School.

'She's suspendered from her previous school.'

"Oh, don't mind me...just go on as though I wasn't even here!"

Haven you heard, the state now mandates that students do thirty-five hours of useful volunteer work?"

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

The Cheddar College for Extra Mature Students

"I should think they have been scrapped. There was never any need for them in the first place."

"Yes, it does mean the bus routes will be a little longer, but on the plus side, the kids will have more time to do their homework."

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"Since the State of Florida has banned all the books, class will consist of watching Mr. DeSantis's Neighborhood."

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

Class of 2015

Quality of education

'You want the committee to study overcrowding in schools? They meet over there in the broom closet.'

Betsy DeVos

'Who wants to go to the library and bring back the underhead projector?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Why is it when the teachers do it they call it industrial action?'