Public School Administrator Gifts

"Line up for chow, maggots!!"

Ethics exam cheater.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'What does it say, Dad?'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

Yummy Mummies