School Administrators Gifts

'I got a detention for not wearing exactly the right uniform for my 'encouraging diversity' lessons.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

School Bus for The Voucher School

'Whatever happened to students taking good notes in class?'

'It's our new policy...if the children don't turn up then the parents have to!'

'Surely you realised there was a possibility that Darren could be sacrificed when you sent him to a faith school.'

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

'I'm not sure what 'sequestration' means, but if teachers get laid off, I'm for it.'

'I'm not saying your parents are lying to get you into this school, but your name isn't Susan, is it?'

Public Schools vs. Charter Schools

"I'm afraid you could do better work in order to get your daughter into this school."

"I cheated a little in high school, the teachers cheated, the principal cheated, and here I am."

"Well, at least I don't have to tell them to stop talking now."

"Due to the expenses involved with making our schools more resistant to mass shootings, we re forced to make large cuts in teacher pay and benefits...and you will be required to carry this glock 9mm...."

"Stop trying to educate the children and focus on teaching the test."

'We figured out how to save money so we can keep all our fun activities and still balance the budget.'

"Things to bring up at the next school board meeting: 1. need for more office space..."

"... So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that your school is downsizing and they had to make you redundant?"

PE Dept. PPE Dept

There are lessons to be learned from lockdown

"In the absence of a better algorithm Mrs Makins will be assigning test results."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"I guess they were all at the school board meeting protesting sex ed and critical race theory."

"None of them could run, so we've introduced 'rolling' instead."

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

Schoolboy enters class with a sign on door: Sex Education Cert PG.

"Will you at least let him finish the term?"

"We are prepared to offer a full scholarship to your son's phone."

Back to School, Back to Covid.

11 School Shootings in US in January 2018.

"A parent/teacher conference? Let me check my schedule and I'll have my people get with your people."

"Maybe there would be more interest if we put up a football game on the large screen."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Aren't you worried about what my parents, relatives, and neighbors will think about this school if you only give me an A-?"