Educational Administrator Gifts

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Michael Gove at the Head Teachers' Conference: 'Mr Gove. We're not angry, we're just disappointed.'

Books on running a successful school,

Report on Plagiarism - 'You've copied all this off the internet...'

'I purchased this great book on time management, but with my schedule I don't have the time to read it.'

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

'Then it's agreed! Our mission statement will be to deliver more and better education.'

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

'I think we're being educated for failure...'

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'Teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic sounds like a good idea. Let me run it by an educational focus group.'

'We just finished our meeting on raising educational standards. Please call maintenance. Please call maintenance and have them vacuum up all the educational buzzwords left on the carpeting.'

"According to this poll, when asked if there was sufficient English as a Second Language instruction in their school district, 35 percent of ESL students said 'yes', and 65 percent didn't understand the question."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

'The committee to study overcrowding in schools meets over there in the broom closet.'

School Testing

'So...when the economy proves, people get new jobs, which in turn generates more income tax revenue, more taxes means more money for schools...'

It's good to expand successful schools, but isn't there a danger of over-extending the catchment area.

Computers replace books in education

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'I was asked to attend a meeting on Accountability in Education. Harold, how long will it take for you to teach me the art of camouflage?'

Educational Correlations Not Suitable For Publication.

Home schooling recomended

"Excuse me...is this one of those tests where we lose marks for wrong answers?"

Pupil to teacher "Miss, I/m finding it hard to concentrate with the rats nibbling at my books"

"Where's my homework? Haven't you heard? Print is dead."

It was clear to Mrs. Bennis how the public school budget cuts were hurting students when she asked Danny for a math formula.

'Theories of educational administration cards.'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

A Recent Study Shows...9 out of 10 teachers will work through retirement.