Educational Administration Gifts

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Ethics exam cheater.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'What does it say, Dad?'

Yummy Mummies

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"