Curriculum Commentator Pillows

"Should I refer to it as 'Common Core'?"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

Conservative Curriculum

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

'In our advanced technology course, we teach you how to use the latest in consumer products no matter how fast they come out.'

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."

"Are you concerned about the increase in artificial intelligence?"

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"Why wasn't the Tulsa Black Wall Street Massacre in the U.S. history books?"

Teacher Shortage/Brain Shortage

"Call me when you get some current stuff."

Violence in schools has increased

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

'Here's my report Dad. I got an A, an S, a B and an O.'

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'Those poor grades are due to a lack of data driven evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

'Okay kids, this is the new timetable.'