Educational Commentator Gifts

"After 20 years of schooling, you're skilled at just one thing, taking tests"

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

'Cartoonist thinking'

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

Sports Radio in Crisis

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"Actually, we will replace you."

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"This is gonna be great!"

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah