Curious About Prison Life Gifts

'I wish the sunday funnies had comic strips about prison life.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Let's get a kitty.'

Exhibition for Prisoners

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Sweet Jailbreak

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Prison Wallpaper.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Convict Decor

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"If you include my first marriage I'm a three time loser."

"They're doing inspections-get the throw pillows in order."

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

Stirrbucks