Prison History Enthusiast Gifts

Barnaby in Newgate

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"You ever done time?"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'Let's stay in tonight.'

Man in a Chain Gang has a Peg Leg.

Birdman of Alcatraz.

"This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz."

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Santa visits prison.

Prisoner wallpapering over his tally of days in prison.

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

"I'm Skeets McCarthy, I've always wanted to meet you and tell you how greatly I've admired your work."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

The Bird man of Alcatraz celebrates Thanksgiving.

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"It's like home from home in here. The rules and regulations are very similar."

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'Before this arthritis hit me, I was a top-of-the-line pickpocket. Now I can only steal from penny loafers.'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

"Will there be time to stop at the gift shop?"

'Don't worry - You'll cross the pain threshold in a couple of years.'