Culinary Conjuror T-Shirts

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Needs salt!'

Bright Idea

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Witch's Brew.

Ghostbasters 3

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Witches of Instagram

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

My Cauldron Rules

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Fallen Angel.

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'