Kitchen Conjurers T-Shirts

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

"My kitchen is a magical place. People suddenly appear at mealtime and disappear when it's time to clean."

Come dine with me!

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Late BroomStick

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'Needs salt!'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Surprise in the salad bowl

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Husband bakes a pie

Witch's Brew.

Ghostbasters 3

"Gigot de sept heures."

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Witches of Instagram

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

Hot pot

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

The legend of Chef Arthur.