Kitchen Chaos Conjurer T-Shirts

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Ghostbasters 3

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Vegetable Cook

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Chef De Party.

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Do you want toast with that?'

Cooking

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'