Kitchen Chaos Conductor T-Shirts

"Honey, I appreciate the effort, but you're frightening our son."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Chef De Party.

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Cook au vin