Kitchen Illusionist T-Shirts

When The Magic Has Gone.

Come dine with me!

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Benihana style of cooking.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

Ghostbasters 3

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Amy Sedaris

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

The secret lives of household things.

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"More?"

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"