Stage Illusionist T-Shirts

Book and magician

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'It's Blurred.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

Houdini's infancy.

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

Painting leaves onto a window.

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.

I think he's saying that after losing his job, he was retrained as a street mime.

Alien Magician

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

Dobbson's False Doorway Company A man has walked into an actual painted Trompe l'oeil False Doorway and has got knocked out .

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

'Alright. But it better be good.'

'Instead of going somewhere, how about we just Photoshop our vacation this year?'

Don't Push: Electrical Shock.

Magician with a pound sign above a 'SOLD' house

"So, Dianne tells me you work in the realm of the explainable."

'There's no great trick to it.'

"Do you need prescription eye holes? Or just eye holes?"

"Oh, no! Not another magician."

Ventriloquist throwing his/her voice to confuse someone knocking on his/her door.