Interior Illusionist T-Shirts

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

After a lifetime of hiding his agoraphobia, Kurt comes out of the closet and hides in one.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'It's Blurred.'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Houdini's infancy.

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

Book and magician

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

"I have to know how it's done."

Alien Magician

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

Painting leaves onto a window.

"And now, out of thin air, I present to you the very numbers you were hoping to see."

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

'Wow, it's just like the photo.'

Dobbson's False Doorway Company A man has walked into an actual painted Trompe l'oeil False Doorway and has got knocked out .

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

'Alright. But it better be good.'

'Instead of going somewhere, how about we just Photoshop our vacation this year?'

Magician with a pound sign above a 'SOLD' house

Bathroom DIY

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'

"Do you need prescription eye holes? Or just eye holes?"