Office Illusionist T-Shirts

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

'Alright. But it better be good.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Smoke and mirrors.

Inkwell Genie.

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

Propping up a profits chart.

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

Book and magician

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

"You'll go places in this company. Not really, but with our green screen, we can make it look that way."

Alien Magician

I think he's saying that after losing his job, he was retrained as a street mime.

Painting leaves onto a window.

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

"And now, out of thin air, I present to you the very numbers you were hoping to see."

'Yes, it is the new printer...and yes, it works by magic.'

"What cloak of invisibility? Just admit you misses work yesterday!"

Dobbson's False Doorway Company A man has walked into an actual painted Trompe l'oeil False Doorway and has got knocked out .

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

A businessman saws a woman in half.

"If the goat's giblets float to the top...about £350,000."

Magician with a pound sign above a 'SOLD' house

"Oh, no! Not another magician."

"If you want to win this case, you're going to need a magician."

'There's no great trick to it.'

After a lifetime of hiding his agoraphobia, Kurt comes out of the closet and hides in one.

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

"Well I admit I might have photoshopped my online picture a bit!"