Cubicle Employee Gifts

"After working at a desk for 40 years, Charlie never really wanted a man cave."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"At this office no two days are different."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Work Slave

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Busy day at the office.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

'Are these billable hours?'

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'I need a smarter computer.'

Paper Trail

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

"A watched file never loads..."

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

"Don't worry. The building is earthquake proof, but unfortunately we haven't solved the

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

A man works in a snow globe.