Cubicle Resident Gifts

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"At this office no two days are different."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Computer monitor for a head.

It's a dogs life

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"O.K., if you put it that way."

Working 9 to 5.

Office Weather

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Do not think outside the box!

Think Just Inside The Box.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

Occupant.