Cubicle Companion Gifts

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

"He's no longer here!"

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Office slaves.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"I feel your pain."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Inout baskets.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

Computer monitor for a head.

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

You are here.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

It's a dogs life

Working 9 to 5.

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

Office Weather

"O.K., if you put it that way."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"