Cubicle Comrade Gifts

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'That's our mission statement.'

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Do not think outside the box!

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

Busy day at the office.

The Corporate Rat.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Are these billable hours?'

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

In/Out/How did this end up on my desk?

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'