Cubicle Comrade Pillows

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'That's our mission statement.'

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Do not think outside the box!

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

Busy day at the office.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

The Corporate Rat.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

In/Out/How did this end up on my desk?

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

'Are these billable hours?'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'