Cubicle Camaraderie Gifts

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

"It is what it is."

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

'Remember that promotion you were asking for last month, , ,Well, something just opened up,'