Clubhouse Camaraderie Gifts

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Disco Bunny.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

Workplace Shinanigans

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

The Club

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

I never realized what a bad golfer I was until somebody else kept score. Club House.

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

Men talking in a club house

19th Hole.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

"I'll be glad to see the back of winter - I'm sick of having to wear so much on a night out."

"The first rule of musical chairs club is... you have to get out of your chairs!"

The DJ

Dance Enthusiasts.

'They were in Vietnam together. Then they went into business together, retired together, and now they're on the doldrums together.'

"I like these northern soul clubs but where do I put me whippet?"

'Hard morning, Patricia?'

"I became a caddy to have access to doctors.."

"Hey, Golfers! When approaching the tee, always remember to keep that sponsorship logo facing the camera. . ."

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

"How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?"

"Sink or swim society - now...get busy!!"

"The Environment Agency have sent a solution to your noise pollution problem, Mr Dopolus."

'Guess what? Our club voted to become a gang!'