Clubhouse Guardian Gifts

'Ricky can come in and play, but his attorney will have to wait outside.'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

Planner at work.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

"Monica, please sent my ball back in."

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

'Yes...in retrospect I DO regret not protesting against the new by-pass'

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

'Now remember, the password is 'Woof!''

19th Hole.

Men talking in a club house

'We hope you understand that you're not worth risking on our new carpet, and your feet will smell if you take your shoes off.'

West Australian mining industry

'So you're the originator of the neighborhood crime watch.'

'We wondered if your mother might be interested in taking charge of our new neighbourhood watch scheme.'

"Neighbourhood Watch are recruiting again, Carol."

'You're home early. I thought you were going to the gym.' 'I did. And then I saw a big sweaty butt print on the stationary bike seat, and well, here I am.'

"Hey, Golfers! When approaching the tee, always remember to keep that sponsorship logo facing the camera. . ."

Neighborhood Squirrel Watch Program