Cubicle Comedy Gifts

The Later Years

'My position is so unimportant I never worry about being backstabbed.'

'You must be mistaken. I don't get ulcers. I give them!'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'That's our mission statement.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

National Boss Monument.

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Best project manager we ever had."

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"It is what it is."

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."