Cubicle Comedy Fan Gifts

"You'll be part of a very large company. A small part of a very large company."

"Now that you're back working in the office we thought it fair to start billing you for heating."

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'We harbour few illusions here at Megatron Inc.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'That's our mission statement.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

Just don't let the old man get you down.

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

"It is what it is."

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."