Cubicle Comedians Gifts

"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

"I hate performance review season."

"We'd like to switch you from working under the radar to living off the grid."

'You don't repeat gossip, do you?' - 'No, she starts it.'

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

"What the hell did they fire you for?"

Crowdsourcing the cubicle.

"Cool! The boss just fist bumped me!"

"He still hasn't figured out how to get out of his invisible cubicle."

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

"I preferred it when you micromanaged more openly."

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'That's our mission statement.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"Best project manager we ever had."

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...