Cubicle Warrior Gifts

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"Don't worry. The building is earthquake proof, but unfortunately we haven't solved the

'Er! So apart from the crushing workload, lack of support, weak and ineffective management, poor conditions and lack of flexibility was there anything in PARTICULAR you didn't like about working here?'

From the moment John stepped into the room, he knew something was up.

'Sometimes I think this is the best part of my day.'

'Looks like a white flag.'

'Sit, Mr. Smedley.'

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'How come you're taking credit for work I do?'

'I worry about the dot-dot-dot at the end of my job description.'

'Working here is a lot like being a sled dog...if you're not the leader, the view never changes.'

"Whenever corporate culture fails, corporate nature takes over."

'May I go home now?'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

"I'm beginning to think this company is a stressful place to work. Because Bob didn't look like that when he started here."

"I can never find any change here."

'Quit complaining. Everyone around here has to pull his own weight.'

"My boss is a changed man. He went from bad to worse."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'The job is pretty good, but I'd be lot happier if they found me an office inside the building.'

'I need a smarter computer.'

"Just another slow paced, mellow day at the office."

TBD - Time Botched Daily

Ralph is silently screaming with his marker every day.

"When they hired me, they asked if I would mind if I got my hands dirty. I thought it would be more adventurous than changing the ink in all the printers."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"This is your frustration computer. Whenever your actually computer makes you mad, take t out on this one. It's not real, and it's made of soft material."

"The CEO thinks that we need to come in and provide cover at the weekend. He's going to make an announcement when he gets back in on Monday."

"Hey, Lenny, can you spare a rubber band?"

"Housekeeping? What do you have that will remove an ominous portent of doom and failure that's shrouding a cubicle?"

"I feel like I'm moving from my quiet desperation phase into something a bit more colorful."