Cubicle Warriors Gifts

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

'Stop mumbling, George! We all had to start somewhere...'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Work Slave

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Do not think outside the box!

The Corporate Rat.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

'Are these billable hours?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I miss the old cubicles."