Cubicle Veteran Gifts

"I should be well suited for an office cubicle after spending so much time in solitary confinements."

"At this office no two days are different."

Another day at work would be one too many...

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Work Slave

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Busy day at the office.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Are these billable hours?'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'I need a smarter computer.'

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'How can a man jump out of a window if the damned window can't be opened.'

'Apparently the new boss is a real Queen Bitch from Hell.'

'I don't like your attitude, Peterson, whatever it is.'

"A watched file never loads..."