Cubicle Veteran Gifts

"I should be well suited for an office cubicle after spending so much time in solitary confinements."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"At this office no two days are different."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Work Slave

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Busy day at the office.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Are these billable hours?'

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'I need a smarter computer.'

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

"A watched file never loads..."

'How can a man jump out of a window if the damned window can't be opened.'

'Apparently the new boss is a real Queen Bitch from Hell.'