Cubicle Climber Gifts

Stacked In Tray

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Another day at work would be one too many...

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Inout baskets.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Work Slave

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Computer monitor for a head.

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

It's a dogs life

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Office Weather

Working 9 to 5.

"O.K., if you put it that way."

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'