Cubicle Survivor Gifts

Sensing that he was about to doze off, the air bag on Wade's computer rapidly deployed,

It was a dead-end job. She was only staying for the palliative care.

'Whoa...crushing the will to live and an illusion of full employment! You really are ahead of your time, Igor.'

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

After taking the job Dale got the feeling he was going to be stuck in his new position for sometime.

'Not only do we have a great retirement program, our employees age more quickly.'

"It's my in-tray!"

'I don't like your attitude, Peterson, whatever it is.'

I'm sorry, but I have to let you go, Harpic- the office is going open-plan.

This is my son, Nigel. He'll be taking credit for all of your work.

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'

"The good things about cats is, they never complain about working in a box."

Employee evaluation.

"I really like that picture. You got my good side."

"I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job."

"Morning brings boundless optimism. By lunch it's quiet consternation. Around 5 he just mutters under his breath."

"It's five o'clock - quitting time! Ha, ha, just joking. It's unpaid overtime for everyone again."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"Jim has left his cubicle. Luckily, he left something behind that has his scent."

'I've finally passed that stage of mild trepidation to fear and loathing.'

Missiles in an office cubicle

'Apparently the new boss is a real Queen Bitch from Hell.'

'How can a man jump out of a window if the damned window can't be opened.'

'Working from home again, Jerry?'

While you were out, we found we could get along without you.

'I don't mind so much working in a cubicle, but why do they have to make them look like public toilet stalls?'

'It's one of those days when point and click feels more like drag and drop.'

'I've had my eye on you for some time, Parker...Just what is it you're supposed to do around here?'

I accidentally deleted your report, Bob. Figures. Coffee maker's broken, Bob. Figures. Forget those changes I asked you to make, Bob. Figures. Bob, your flight is at 5 a.m. Figures. I need you to stay late, Bob. Figures. No, Bob, your plan doesn't cover dental. Figures. It wasn't exactly the six0figures job that Bob had hoped for.

It could be worse. We could be chained to a desk.

Thank you for coming in on your day off, minion. It reflects well on your character. I don't know how you got that impression. I would never force you to come in on your day off. That would be illegal. You said "Come in on your day off. Your job depends on it." Rudy, Rudy, Rudy ... That's just a figure of speech. You went on to say "I mean it. That's not just a figure of speech." That was a figure of speech too.

"Hate to see you leave - you were my favorite puppet."

"Nonsense, I'm sure you'll have no trouble at all readjusting to life in the wild."

"This job is going nowhere."