Cubicle Conquerors Gifts

'Now what are you complaining about? I'm spending more time with you and the kids aren't I?!'

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

"Believe me, you're going to need this string to return from the cubicle maze."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Work Slave

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Do not think outside the box!

The Corporate Rat.

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

You are here.

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"The first of many cubicles..."

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.