Cubicle Contender Gifts

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Work Slave

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Do not think outside the box!

'By the time I get to greener pastures, my lawn mower will be worn out,'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

The Corporate Rat.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

'Are these billable hours?'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I miss the old cubicles."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.