Cubicle Champion Gifts

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Honey, I'm home."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Get Davis to do it. He's user friendly.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'You should check out this amazing view from my cubicle. It overlooks the water.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'I appreciate you doing the work of two men, Haskell, but Baker and Clayton never did anything either.'

"That's where everyone started getting sick of me."

"Mine was the top cubicle of the week."

"The latest reports show life expectancy going down for the first time."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

The Corporate Rat.

Busy day at the office.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'I need a smarter computer.'

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'